Let It Go: A Holiday Guide for Finding Joy in Imperfection

I have been letting many things go this holiday season. With Thanksgiving being late, I think we all feel the “shortened” season. Since I’m going on a photography trip in the middle of the month, I’ve decided just to let go of several holiday tasks to reduce my anxiety.

Recently, I’ve been walking around singing Let It Go from the movie Frozen. It’s my December theme song. Grab a coffee and listen to the music if you haven’t heard it in a while. It should be one of the songs for our aging lives. There are just so many things we need to let go of. And this holiday season, I’m shedding activities faster than I take my bra off at the end of the day!

I idolized Martha Stewart for years and tried to do everything she did. I was hooked, from her first cookbook to her early newsletters before the magazine launched. I dreamed of perfectly set tables, garlands adorning every doorway, and trays of homemade cookies for every neighbor. On the outside, it looked magical. On the inside, I was exhausted, overwhelmed, broke, and quietly resentful.

One morning, while watching the Martha segment on the Today I show, it hit me like a stack of creatively placed bricks: Martha wasn’t doing it all herself. She had a team. While she was making the perfect mincemeat pie, someone was feeding the chickens and weeding the flower bed.

Meanwhile, I was trying to play every role alone. No wonder I was frazzled. Slowly, I started letting go—not just of impossible holiday standards but of the idea that I had to do everything myself.

For those of us navigating the holidays solo or as the "go-to" person, the pressure can feel crushing. We’re the decorators, the chefs, the gift-givers, and often the glue holding traditions together. But here’s the truth: holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.

If the season feels more overwhelming than joyful, it’s time to channel your inner Elsa and let it go.

Let Go of Perfection

I’ll admit I still lean toward perfectionism. But perfection? It’s a myth.

Instead of chasing the impossible, focus on what genuinely brings you joy. Do you love the glow of a tree filled with sentimental ornaments? Decorate a small one and skip the rest. Are homemade cookies stressing you out? Store-bought is perfectly fine.

Ask yourself: What makes this season feel special to me? Then, prioritize that.

Let Go of Overcommitment

You don’t need to say yes to every invitation or tradition. Overloading your calendar often means saying no to yourself.

Choose events that truly bring you joy this year, and politely decline the rest. A simple “I’m keeping my schedule light this year” is enough. You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation.

Saying no isn’t selfish; it creates space for what really matters.

Let Go of Unrealistic Traditions

Traditions evolve, just like we do. What worked 10 years ago may not fit your life today.

For years, I hosted big holiday meals with everything made from scratch. Now? I simplify with a smaller menu and a premade dessert. Does that mean I’ve “failed” at traditions? No—it means I’ve adapted.

If a tradition feels like a burden, tweak it or abandon it entirely. This will free up space for something more meaningful.

Let Go of Doing It All Yourself

For those without a partner or close family nearby, it’s easy to feel like everything falls on our shoulders. But you don’t have to do it alone.

Here are a few ideas:

• Swap cookie baking with a neighbor.
• Host a casual decorating night with friends.
• Embrace online shopping or gift cards for stress-free gift-giving.

Remember, doing less doesn’t make the holidays less meaningful. It makes them manageable.

Let Go of the Noise

Holidays can be noisy—both literally and figuratively. The ads, the crowds, the to-do lists—it’s enough to make anyone feel frazzled.

Take time to tune out the chaos. For me, it’s photography. This year, I’m giving myself the gift of a trip to photograph cranes—a moment of peace in the holiday rush.

What brings you joy? Find 10 minutes a day for it. Sip tea, take a walk, or listen to music. The quiet moments matter.

Let Go of Guilt

Guilt loves the holidays. We feel guilty for not doing enough, not seeing everyone, or not living up to imaginary standards.

Here’s the truth: you don’t owe anyone perfection. You don’t even owe an explanation for how you choose to celebrate.

Feeling Like the Third Wheel?

The holidays can amplify loneliness, especially for those of us who are widowed, divorced, or single. Being surrounded by couples at a holiday dinner can feel like a spotlight on what’s missing.

But your relationship status doesn’t define your holiday. Start your own traditions—ones that make you feel whole. Watch your favorite holiday movie with hot cocoa. Volunteer. Invite a friend for a simple dinner.

The holidays are about connection, whether it’s with others or with yourself.

Here Are a Few Things I’ve Let Go Of This Year

• If I do holiday cards this year, they will be for New Year’s. I may print a card if I get an incredible photo from this trip. Who knows.
• I have greatly reduced my gift-giving this year. For people I traditionally cook something for, this year’s gift is Trader Joe’s Jingle Jangle. It’s a mix of their delicious chocolate-covered treats. Homemade jam is going only to the family. I am not shopping for gifts.
• I greatly reduced my holiday decorations this year. This year’s tree is a beautiful, 3-foot “real-feel” tree on an entry table.

This Week’s Holiday Challenge

This week, let go of one expectation. Skip a task, simplify a tradition, or say no to an event.

What will you let go of?

What am I focusing on more? I’m focused on more music, small quiet gatherings, and enjoying the season more, without all the activity and imperfection.

Let’s embrace imperfection together. By letting go of the things that don’t matter, we make room for what truly does: peace, connection, and joy.

Here’s to a calmer, brighter holiday season.

Until next time,
​Mary Harvey

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